Noncommittal.

Sometimes I get into these phases where I don't want to make any plans. Leave things alone, stop all the planning and scheduling and just relax.

I'm sitting in my apartment, staring at the annual car registration renewal notice sitting in front of me. It is due on the 16th of this month, the hefty bill was actually even higher last year. The irony that even if you plan not to use your car for a year, you still have to fork over 18 bucks.

Paying the $195 tab means that I am committing to living in L.A. for another year, to living, working, and writing in this town for another twelve months of my life.

Why so noncommittal, you ask?
Good question. These days I keep feeling a bit more ambivalence when it comes to making plans. I'd like to have a bit more - flexibility, independence, freedom, I suppose. Perhaps there is a touch of the bohemian spirit left in me. Or, maybe there's something of the quarterlife crisis that remains within me as time goes by and aging refuses to be ignored. The blur of weddings and engagements surrounding me, the world that dares to continue turning while you're standing still - reorganization of life priorities ensues.

If I accept a free new cell phone from Verizon wireless, it means I'm committing myself to two more years of their services.  But what if I want to terminate our relationship?  I mean, who knows if I will still be happy with our agreement for two whole years?  And if I don't honor our contract, that means I am penalized with a sucker-punch pricetag.  Smells like a prenup.

I like Verizon, don't get me wrong.  I just don't know if I love Verizon.  So - I don't want to make a commitment if I'm not sure.

24 Hour Fitness: You seem pretty cool and all, but I'm just not looking for anything serious right now.

As for that month-to-month apartment lease...not going to worry about it for the time being, will just take one of those giant leaps of faith.

Love to Hate ? Melting. And People Want To Study Me.

I was thinking about what it would be like to no longer be a 'transplant.' Nomad. Wanderlust is always at the back of my brain.

Makes me wonder, do I love to hate L.A ? Hmm. But doesn't everyone hate LA ?

I think 99% of the people posting ads up on craigslist need to go back to school. Or high school English, at least. You know, the kids that got left behind. They kill the "they're, their, there" efforts of schoolteachers. What happened to this generation? Venga, gente! Spell check much?

Stay in school, kids. So people won't question if you know English when you're an adult.

This Mission, IF You Choose To Accept It.It's a ridiculous thought, but occurred to me that joining the work force after college brings you into another world that people don't talk about. Well - the dark side is what people don't tell you about. Someone offers you a mission to begin an era known as "working stiff." This is what you are to do (but no one talks about it):

1. Trust No One. Not a single person.
2. Form Allies.
3. Stand Your Ground.
4. Brace for Attack.
5. Play the Game. Or Die.

Melting
So. Hot. The hot apartments on my side of the hill are getting stuffy, and boy, does the summer bring the blood to a boil.

At least I don't have to attempt to blast 'Beat It' from my room to repel the hacking, yakking, cigarette-smoking old dudes. Didn't work anyway.

Patience is wearing a bit thinner these days, or is it just me? Everyone blasting their air conditioning from their homes and their cars and kicking up the temps higher outside can't be much help.
There a couple arguing in Armenian in the apartment next door last week. Screaming at the top of their lungs in Armenian so I have no idea what the argument was about. Neighbors started to look out their windows. Another onlooker walked over to see what the fuss was - or maybe it was to make sure they didn't end up killing each other ?

Thank God I've moved to an apartment with central air. And Casita Taco next door. (Now, to finish unpacking the boxes before Christmas...)

The Sleep Study
So with all this chronic fatigue and the stamina of an 80 year old woman, I've had the second doctor's opinion. And then decided to drop my usual suspects and find a new doc altogether. UCLA is quite amazing. [America's Best Hospitals: the 2009-10 Honor Roll]
And thank goodness I have insurance this year. Who knew ? There are doctors out there that are thorough, and actually listen ? No one tells you how much digging it takes to find a doctor that is knowledgeable and conscientious and trustworthy.

The conclusion was stress, or, one of those phases of twentysomethings that have been known to pass. It's been over four months so we will see. But for now, I really do like to be in bed by 10 or 11pm. I fade fast. I'm awake, friends, and can hang out, but for a limited time only...

The other doctors that I have decided not to see anymore did leave on one last referral - that I go in to a lab for a sleep study - to rule out the possibility that it is a sleeping disorder of kind, i.e. sleep apnea; basically trying to rule out if it is the quality of the sleep that I'm getting which is making me so tired.

So I'm going in to a lab for a sleep study next week - this is where doctors have all these wires hooked up to you and they check their various monitors while you sleep there for the night. I know - it really does exist!

No - I'm not getting paid. But if the opportunity presented itself, I suppose I would do it full-time. Wouldn't you ?

Back to reality. And, did I really pay that much for jeans?

Monday is back again. How come Monday sneaks up on you, leaving the weekend behind as nothing but a distant and faded memory?
Got my blood results back. Completely healthy. Well then, why am I tired all the time? You can't just be giving me B12 shots every week. I don't have that kind of time!

Did I really pay that much for jeans?
As you may know, HWAs (Hollywood Assistants) don't make a ton of moolah. Okay here's what I'm really trying to say: Why did no one stop me when I paid $60 for a pair of jeans? And then $50 on my second pair ? And then I may have dropped them off today at the cleaners to get them altered for another $25?! Ay que, venga! In this economy. Plus the 9.25% CA sales tax.

I think I always bought jeans on sale. $10, $20, in PA (with no sales tax on clothes - yeah, I know). Paying full price is not so fun. Who could've foreseen that three pairs of jeans would spring holes at the same frickin time ?

Los Angeles truly is la-la land. $200 for a pair of Rock & Republics? We're not in Kansas anymore. (Or the suburbs of Philly.)

I may have a stupid belt that I got for $30.
It is kind of cute, though.

Ah, the waste. Nobody tell my Mom, please.

COTW

Label jeans at $20 or less. Where have those days gone ?

Lunching at less than ten bucks. You are sensible, Koreatown. So are you, Porto's - but you've GOT to do something about that parking lot.