Letting a Guy Walk Me To My Car. Priorities vs. Options, COTW

The Car Escort.
Yes, you're right. Sometimes I should just let a guy walk me to my car.
Apparently, sometimes I'm one of those women that are so staunchly independent, it can get annoying.

A colleague offers to walk me to my car after we hang out. I decline because I'm only a block away. He asks again. I decline a second time. He insists. We're walking and there's no turning back. I admit that I lied - I've parked at least a good three or four blocks.

Why is my instinct to fight it? I think it was a flash of that "annoyingly staunch independence" zone that women can get in. Yeah. I gotta get my foot outta that one.

Priorities vs. Options
"So, why aren't you dating?"
I look across at the inquisitive eyes peering at me from behind a pair of specs. It seems I can't escape the topic, there is no segue, no large crowd to deflect off of; I am cornered, face-to-face.

"Why, do you have a guy for me?"
I do love challenging a question with a question. Maybe that's the fighting spirit that stems from growing up with a brother, or the stalwart source of bravado that comes from being the youngest sibling.

Dating is not a priority; has no one been paying attention? Finding an apartment - a roof over my head and a place to stash my bed so that I can pass out upon it - is a priority. I can always date; it is available, it is possible, it is not the most important thing in my life right now - it is an option.

I do hate it when people treat you as an option and not a priority, particularly when you make them a priority in your life. I don't want to be the type of person who drops everything for someone else on the pathway to Pushover Zone. Must be the fear of other people shelving me under 'Options' instead of 'Priorities.' Maybe we all have this fear.

COTW [crush-of-the-week]

Guys that insist on walking you to your car, even after you decline in your oh-I'm-an-independent-woman-and-can-take-care-of-myself moment. Definitely a COTW move to make to keep insisting. Who knew? Note to self: sometimes you've got to remember to give men the space and opportunity to be gentlemen.

Every four years.

So career and dating has been on the brain lately.  Well, sure, career, and the fact that I should, apparently, be focusing on dating, or at least pay some attention to it.  It is, honestly, the least of my priorities at the moment.

But, I wonder, if I spent half the amount of time and energy thinking about or working on my love life that I did on my career, how successful I would be in love.  I mean, that goes for anything, right?  Spend time on one thing, keep working on it and improvements will arise; progress becomes imminent.

Someone posed the question of how many guys I've dated.  If that includes single, one-time dates, then my total is: 6.  Does that sound like a lot?  I mean, I'm including my junior prom date who I never went out with after we went to prom.  I think the number is low.  When you stop and think about it, the percentage of guys that you meet (or vice versa the women, for guys), at least, out of all the guys you've ever met in your life, the percentage of which you end up getting interested in, and actually pursue, is fractional.  Fractional, I'm telling you.

And if I calculate the total number of guys, that averages out to me dating one guy every four years or so.

So basically, then...

Every (Presidential) election year.  Every Olympic year (Summer Games because they're more exciting than the Winter Games).  Every leap year.  Well, you get the gist of it.

So we are. Officially, at least, we guess so.

Good enough. Having the DTR talk is frickin nerve wrecking. Ah, nerves.

I miss Dunkin' Donuts. And chicken fingers. And buffalo wings with blue cheese. And cheese steaks with onions and hot peppers and mushrooms. It's a wonder I wasn't twice my size while growing up. It's high time I saw the folks and the bro. Los Angeles truly is la-la land. People are weird here. You know what I mean. Time to get out of town.

Fiscal Responsibility
So I bought my fourth pair of jeans within a month span. I've got to stop. These are not times to be fiscally irresponsible. The last pair of jeans were - well, I had a gift card. And they were 30% off. Ahh. Working-middle-class-upbringing-guilt-in-times-of-economic-crisis. But then I had three pairs of jeans altered. Why can't petite sizes be all around? Not all of us are 5'7". Venga, hombre!

COTW

Guys who are attentive. As in, not wrapped up in the chic flakiness of LA which has permeated through the air with the smog into everyone's lungs. If you do what you say you were going to do, it's refreshing (sadly). So, in conclusion, don't be sorry, just do what you say you're going to do.

Tasting menus. Unnecessary, but a nice touch.

Being able to conclude that we are, in fact, officially dating. I mean, we guess so.

The blur. Ask me out again. I dare ya.

Somebody get me a pina colada. In a coconut cup.

I hope those tight-but-stretchy-jeans I just bought still fit. Have replaced workouts with fatigue. And noshing on dark chocolate M&M's at the office. We'll see what round two of my blood test results say next week.

Hurry up and ask me out again. Seriously.
I have no patience when it comes to dating. I don't like waiting around. Let's get things moving along, here.

Maybe it's how God is teaching me patience. Why does dating have to take so much finesse ? And advice asking and friends' experiences and different input from every freaking body ?

Dog-owner friend says: yeah, that's so cute, you should definitely go out with him!
RN friend says: Honestly, I don't know why you're wasting your time with this guy.
Co-worker says: Who was that guy? You should go out with him, I think he likes you.
Other co-worker: He's awfully cute. You should give him a nudge.

People really like giving dating advice, regardless of personal status.

We're dating...right ?

So we're a few dates in. You're cute. I'm cute. Things have been going pretty smoothly.

Do guys not offer their jackets anymore? It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't so damn windy out. Stupid Santa Ana winds. I'm in a sleeveless dress and starting to rub my arms. Repeatedly. I'm rooting for you, really, I am. Every time I start rubbing my arms in the chilly air I'm rooting for you to offer your jacket. Venga, guapo - work with me, here.

Makes me wonder if we're wandering into the friend zone.

But I do love the doors-getting-opened-for-me-and-the-wait-for-me-to-walk-through thing...

COTW crush-of-the-week

Guys in button-down shirts where the top button on the collar is in a contrasting color than the rest of the buttons on the shirt. I kind of want to make out with the shirt.

Guys in dress shoes. The kind that make low tapping sounds on marble floors.

COTW and Working Woes

There's the good and the bad. I always like hearing bad news first, so..

Working Woes
Getting my 9-to-5 off my chest.

Her: Slide it into this envelope here, like this. That’s what you’re gonna do for this stack right here.
Me (internally): I’m sorry, I don’t speak moron. I got a ridiculously high score on my SATs, so I’m probably incredibly smarter than you’ve ever been, and I’m a two-time regional spelling bee champ. Why are you speaking so loudly? Shut the hell up. I’m standing right next to you – use your 12 inch voice. I guess you were ATD in school, huh.
Me (verbally): Okay, I’ll take care of it.

At least it’s all just temporary. I can’t be the only genius brain with a passion for writing whom is stuck doing unnoticed, unfulfilling work all day. I mean, there must be others out there, right?

I wonder how many minutes or hours of work the average person accomplishes on a given day. Seriously. I am amazed that what I’m doing can substantially constitute a person’s full-time, salaried position. It’s just not busy enough. I have caught up on my trades and emails, and trying not to be sitting here reading a book since it seems a little faux pas. The value of mental stimulation – is definitely underrated. Hard to be upbeat and creative when you’re stuck in a white cubicle.

Crush-Of-The-Week
For this week’s edition of COTW, I decided to forego the fully developed crush profile. There are numerous individual qualities that boost a gentleman’s attractiveness factor (beyond the fundamentals of having a sense of humor, being passionate, articulate, intelligent, etc.). Here are a few that came up this week:

British accents.

Ugly Christmas sweaters. (Yeah, I know. But still.)

Argyle. Who doesn't love a person in touch with their inner preppy?

Tattoos. Depend on type and size, of course. Something about an individual willing to commit a permanent marking on their own body for a lifetime. (Outside of the world of laser surgery, of course.)

This Week's Crush and Spelling Round

Crush-Of-The-Week (COTW)
If you're attractive and talented, congratulations, you have met the stipulations that put you in the running for the candy monster's crush. I crush on somebody new all the time - I've decided to whittle it down by week.
This week's profile: Indie rockers that are easy on the eyes and more down-to-earth than you'd expect. Damn, [insert musician's name here]. Enough sweet-talking and thoughtfulness and I'll want to make out with you. (Wink.)

Spelling Round

friendly. Yes, another i before e.

whether or not you like it, the weather is unseasonably warm lately.

You are waiting in line for coffee. No, not online, on the world wide web, but in a line. You know, a queue; there's an old school surfer in front of you and a woman with her screaming kids standing behind you.

And to add to your Hollywood vernacular according to webster.com:

schmooze: verb. To converse informally: chat; also: to chat in a friendly and persuasive manner especially so as to gain favor, business, or connections

swag: noun. Goods acquired by unlawful means: loot

ETA: estimated time of arrival.

And to save in the mental thesaurus:
Take out the random, try:

á tort et á travers: wrong and crosswise, at random, without rhyme or reason.

A Gentleman’s Basic Guide To All The Right Moves.

Things Women Want to Tell You But Shouldn’t Have To.
In case you didn't already know.

http://www.thisisby.us/index.php/content/a_gentleman__s_basic_guide_to_the_right_moves