Every four years.

So career and dating has been on the brain lately.  Well, sure, career, and the fact that I should, apparently, be focusing on dating, or at least pay some attention to it.  It is, honestly, the least of my priorities at the moment.

But, I wonder, if I spent half the amount of time and energy thinking about or working on my love life that I did on my career, how successful I would be in love.  I mean, that goes for anything, right?  Spend time on one thing, keep working on it and improvements will arise; progress becomes imminent.

Someone posed the question of how many guys I've dated.  If that includes single, one-time dates, then my total is: 6.  Does that sound like a lot?  I mean, I'm including my junior prom date who I never went out with after we went to prom.  I think the number is low.  When you stop and think about it, the percentage of guys that you meet (or vice versa the women, for guys), at least, out of all the guys you've ever met in your life, the percentage of which you end up getting interested in, and actually pursue, is fractional.  Fractional, I'm telling you.

And if I calculate the total number of guys, that averages out to me dating one guy every four years or so.

So basically, then...

Every (Presidential) election year.  Every Olympic year (Summer Games because they're more exciting than the Winter Games).  Every leap year.  Well, you get the gist of it.

Conflicted, Career Quiz Results, and It's Time For That Corona.

I'm standing in line at the checkout at the Assi market in Ktown. I'm looking over at the cashier - she is a Korean woman probably in her late 30s, early 40s. I wonder if she's happy. Or if she's content to just have a job in this bear market economy. She could be, right? But I wonder if this job is something she's ever dreamed about, about what her passions were when she was a child, or if by a convoluted series of events, she has simply found herself working here out of convenience and a strong sense of familial responsibility. I wonder.

I am at a crossroads. I can do what's responsible but not satisfying, or I can be irresponsible and pursue my passion, regardless of the costs. My instincts say to do the responsible thing; my heart, on the other hand, prefers to do otherwise. My past has not always followed my instincts, however.

I decided to take a career quiz. Here are my results:

"You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

* Artist
* Historian
* Banker
* Novelist
* University Professor
* Photographer
* Vet
* Paralegal
* Graphic Designer
* Online Content Developer
* Webmaster
* Producer
* Managing Director
* Nutritionist
* Advertising
* Nursing

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open."

The first thought that came to mind was: HOW ARE BANKER AND ARTIST IN THE SAME GROUP OF RESULTS?

But, for the most part, touché, career quiz. Touché.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a drinker. I'm an eater, though.

There are few times in life where I have felt compelled to make a drastic change in my life, regardless of the obstacles that present themselves, or how deviant from logic it may be.

I think it's a propos to find time for that Corona. With extra lime.

Questions an interviewer should not ask (and the answers I'd like to give them)

Honestly. They cross the line in terms of legality and, well, some are just plain trite.

Where do you see yourself in ten years? Hopefully as someone who doesn't ask such hackneyed questions.
How thick is your skin? Why do you ask? I mean, how unprofessional and condescending is the work environment you provide?
How old are you? That's illegal to ask. And also, hah, you never ask a woman her age.
What's your ethnicity? Other. Yeah - you've got to be kidding me.
Can you come in tomorrow for a second interview? It would be from 9 to 5. No, its not paid training, its just a long interview. No - I refuse to give up an entire day of my life to train with your company and not get paid for it because you call it an 'interview.' My time is much more valuable than that.
Why should we hire you? I think the question is really, why should I work for your company?
Actually, I don't know why she can't keep an assistant. What do you think makes you a good assistant? Why would I want to work for someone who can't even keep an assistant?

Ding dong, the strike is dead. So I've heard. Corresponding updates pending.

Fluffernutter

I was just thinking about fluffernutter sandwiches. You just don't see them around anymore. Peanut butter and marshmallow spread anchored between two pieces of carb-loaded bread. Mmm, comfort food. I guess I'll put that on the cheat list, along with designer cupcakes, mocha lattes, and hot-off-the-line doughnuts. For a zip code that worships six-pack abs and celebrities, there sure are a lot of doughnut shops and fast food joints packed in this town.

More on the job hunting front: if you're going to ask me to put in a full day of work, "learning the ropes" with one of your own, and call it an "interview," you'd better be able to cough up the money for my time. The things corps get away with. Ciao, Papa.

I lost my Burt's Bees lip balm. I bought another one. Why is it that you can't buy these things in bulk? Marketing ploy, Burt? Then I found my old one later that day.

Million-dollar business idea:
SILENT leaf-blowers. I loathe you, you 8am-on-a-Saturday-morning gardeners.

Lines that steal

"You matter to me, Betty Gonzalez." - Amanda Tannen, Ugly Betty, 'Zero Worship' ep.

"Stripping's like riding a bike. Once you ride that bike, you always got the skill." - Big, Rob and Big, season two ep 205.
These bosom buddies - I hate reality television, but they're just so damn likable. Ridiculous outings, overgrown immaturity and all - and I just can't look away. Their typical misadventures include visits to the nutritionist, hypnotherapist, and stripper dance lessons. But you gotta throw in a kooky phone call to a guy who hooked them up with a time machine. Yeah, I know. Can't change the channel.

Bring it, '08

It's been awhile since my last post - there have been a few setbacks in these past few weeks; specifically, my laptop withering after three faithful years. After trying to call during Central Mountain Time operating hours and a considerable wait time, I got through to a customer service representative at the conglomerate consumer computer giant known as DELL. Apparently they charge for service repairs - to even get your computer looked at - there is a $199 cost up front, and then of course, the cost of your repairs. I wince at the news. Struggling temps cannot shell out this kind of cash without batting an eye. $100 quite possibly may always be a large sum of money to me.

Academia
I have been resorting to visiting my neighborhood library and taking a number to use the 55-minutes-or-less-in-duration computers on hard-backed, wooden, un-cushioned, do-not-fall-asleep-in-here chairs. If I am lucky, I get a computer wedged in between the loud breather on my left and the we-can-all-hear-the-music-playing-with-his-headphones-on-guy to my right. Hopefully it won't happen again.

These local biblioteca visits remind me that I do enjoy libraries. Quiet. An escape from the noise of life. The thirst for knowledge. All things scholastic and studious. Intelligence. A wave of nostalgia, of those undergraduate years on the fifth floor of the Gelman in D.C.

Holiday in LA
So I've begun breaking up my sedentary lifestyle. It has been a painstakingly slow process. (I'm fighting my desire to hibernate in the cold, windy season in Los Angeles.) Especially when there's no heater in the bedroom or bathroom of our apartment. Honestly, heat is a basic human need. Los Angeles homebuilders of yore, what were you thinking?! This isn't Jamaica, mon. Yup, I said it.

Also - there isn't enough decent Christmas music to put up on the airwaves. Play something we know, guys. Some recent Christmas pop albums. I'm sure there's something audibly delectable from Josh Groban. Ne-yo's falsetto-infused singles just don't get me in the holiday spirit. Pretty damn catchy, though. (I have also been fighting the uber-adhesive quality of the musical stylings of Rihanna. I have since given in to the notion. Gah.)

Oh, jobs
Been out interviewing more lately, before Christmas week, but nothing too spectacular has emerged. I think this year I'm thankful I've survived this year, strike and uncertainty of life and all. Maybe I really should sell all my stuff and work for some sort of travel abroad organization. Or at a Catalunyan gastropub. Or join an Unemployed Anonymous group. Thoughts?

Peeves: Sleepers in public places
These locales include: bookstores, libraries, airport lounges, buses (who in Los Angeles rides buses?), shopping malls, church pews.

Anxiously Awaiting
New eps of Heroes. And who knows when that's going to happen?
Permanent Employment. Well - who really wants anything to be completely permanent? The phrase drips with demasiado finality.

This Year's Lessons & Reminders

I am not my job. The "what do you do?" question plagues us all.

Never take calls from telemarketers if you can help it. Take that, LA Times. I wonder if all canceled account holders get removed from your calling list. I hope to never get a phone call from you ever again. Also - is Toluca Lake the LAST stop on your route? Sometimes I got the paper before 7am. Sometimes not until after 8:30am. What's that about? But don't call me to answer that question. My desire for the answer is not greater than my desire to never hear from you again.

MTV does not play music. Stop checking to update yourself on music videos only to find none there. How much more of The Hills and Newport Harbor does America really need? The mainstream public disappoints me.

Visiting the Grove is a double-edged sword. The pseudo-quaint-inner-city-modeled shopping complex is enclosed, walkable, and immerses me in abnormally attractive yuppie crowds. Yeah, it's nice. Just don't let me forget to get parking validation.

COTW and Working Woes

There's the good and the bad. I always like hearing bad news first, so..

Working Woes
Getting my 9-to-5 off my chest.

Her: Slide it into this envelope here, like this. That’s what you’re gonna do for this stack right here.
Me (internally): I’m sorry, I don’t speak moron. I got a ridiculously high score on my SATs, so I’m probably incredibly smarter than you’ve ever been, and I’m a two-time regional spelling bee champ. Why are you speaking so loudly? Shut the hell up. I’m standing right next to you – use your 12 inch voice. I guess you were ATD in school, huh.
Me (verbally): Okay, I’ll take care of it.

At least it’s all just temporary. I can’t be the only genius brain with a passion for writing whom is stuck doing unnoticed, unfulfilling work all day. I mean, there must be others out there, right?

I wonder how many minutes or hours of work the average person accomplishes on a given day. Seriously. I am amazed that what I’m doing can substantially constitute a person’s full-time, salaried position. It’s just not busy enough. I have caught up on my trades and emails, and trying not to be sitting here reading a book since it seems a little faux pas. The value of mental stimulation – is definitely underrated. Hard to be upbeat and creative when you’re stuck in a white cubicle.

Crush-Of-The-Week
For this week’s edition of COTW, I decided to forego the fully developed crush profile. There are numerous individual qualities that boost a gentleman’s attractiveness factor (beyond the fundamentals of having a sense of humor, being passionate, articulate, intelligent, etc.). Here are a few that came up this week:

British accents.

Ugly Christmas sweaters. (Yeah, I know. But still.)

Argyle. Who doesn't love a person in touch with their inner preppy?

Tattoos. Depend on type and size, of course. Something about an individual willing to commit a permanent marking on their own body for a lifetime. (Outside of the world of laser surgery, of course.)