Bring it, '08

It's been awhile since my last post - there have been a few setbacks in these past few weeks; specifically, my laptop withering after three faithful years. After trying to call during Central Mountain Time operating hours and a considerable wait time, I got through to a customer service representative at the conglomerate consumer computer giant known as DELL. Apparently they charge for service repairs - to even get your computer looked at - there is a $199 cost up front, and then of course, the cost of your repairs. I wince at the news. Struggling temps cannot shell out this kind of cash without batting an eye. $100 quite possibly may always be a large sum of money to me.

Academia
I have been resorting to visiting my neighborhood library and taking a number to use the 55-minutes-or-less-in-duration computers on hard-backed, wooden, un-cushioned, do-not-fall-asleep-in-here chairs. If I am lucky, I get a computer wedged in between the loud breather on my left and the we-can-all-hear-the-music-playing-with-his-headphones-on-guy to my right. Hopefully it won't happen again.

These local biblioteca visits remind me that I do enjoy libraries. Quiet. An escape from the noise of life. The thirst for knowledge. All things scholastic and studious. Intelligence. A wave of nostalgia, of those undergraduate years on the fifth floor of the Gelman in D.C.

Holiday in LA
So I've begun breaking up my sedentary lifestyle. It has been a painstakingly slow process. (I'm fighting my desire to hibernate in the cold, windy season in Los Angeles.) Especially when there's no heater in the bedroom or bathroom of our apartment. Honestly, heat is a basic human need. Los Angeles homebuilders of yore, what were you thinking?! This isn't Jamaica, mon. Yup, I said it.

Also - there isn't enough decent Christmas music to put up on the airwaves. Play something we know, guys. Some recent Christmas pop albums. I'm sure there's something audibly delectable from Josh Groban. Ne-yo's falsetto-infused singles just don't get me in the holiday spirit. Pretty damn catchy, though. (I have also been fighting the uber-adhesive quality of the musical stylings of Rihanna. I have since given in to the notion. Gah.)

Oh, jobs
Been out interviewing more lately, before Christmas week, but nothing too spectacular has emerged. I think this year I'm thankful I've survived this year, strike and uncertainty of life and all. Maybe I really should sell all my stuff and work for some sort of travel abroad organization. Or at a Catalunyan gastropub. Or join an Unemployed Anonymous group. Thoughts?

Peeves: Sleepers in public places
These locales include: bookstores, libraries, airport lounges, buses (who in Los Angeles rides buses?), shopping malls, church pews.

Anxiously Awaiting
New eps of Heroes. And who knows when that's going to happen?
Permanent Employment. Well - who really wants anything to be completely permanent? The phrase drips with demasiado finality.

This Year's Lessons & Reminders

I am not my job. The "what do you do?" question plagues us all.

Never take calls from telemarketers if you can help it. Take that, LA Times. I wonder if all canceled account holders get removed from your calling list. I hope to never get a phone call from you ever again. Also - is Toluca Lake the LAST stop on your route? Sometimes I got the paper before 7am. Sometimes not until after 8:30am. What's that about? But don't call me to answer that question. My desire for the answer is not greater than my desire to never hear from you again.

MTV does not play music. Stop checking to update yourself on music videos only to find none there. How much more of The Hills and Newport Harbor does America really need? The mainstream public disappoints me.

Visiting the Grove is a double-edged sword. The pseudo-quaint-inner-city-modeled shopping complex is enclosed, walkable, and immerses me in abnormally attractive yuppie crowds. Yeah, it's nice. Just don't let me forget to get parking validation.

The Holidays Are Upon Us

Well - we are now in the heart of things, I suppose. Thanksgiving is done, the retailers' season of make-it-or-break-it is in full swing, and Christmas, New Year's Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa all out and about in full decor.

SO

Retraction - er- correction - addition? It has come to my attention from a trusted source in the medical industry that many shipments and blood samples are received through FedEx. WELL - shouldn't there be another system? I don't know - EMERGENCY and MEDICAL TRANSPORT related, something on a national level? I feel that would be more efficient and treated with a bit more care. Otherwise, the regular FedEx envelopes that the regular working world of America uses shouldn't need to have that warning label. Ah well.

So I've begun to pack on the holiday weight. The season of overindulgence begins. Must..get some sort of cardio. Otherwise the surrounding comfort foods in bakeries and restaurants coupled with the super-lean and attractive bodies of the greater Los Angeles area will be the death of me. I would say, sure, at least there's the comfort of your own home and the appeal of new episodes of Scrubs, Heroes, Ugly Betty, and The Office - but who knows when AMPTP and WGA will agree on something final?

Pieces of a Day

Happy Friday, world. Life always seems better on a Friday.

The Work Thing
Stop effing popping popcorn! The buttery smell permeates the entire open-air confines of the office, traveling to the heart of every single cubicle, which is part of a layout of the largest cube that is the entire office on the first floor. Bleh. Buttery butteryness.

The shipping/delivery guy is here. He wears a green t-shirt with a huge graphic screenprint on the back that says, “Who’s Your Crawdaddy?”

Creepy guys. How many of you are there? Or the ones with the beady eyes? You’re a tool, you’re a tool. You’re a big, fat tool.

Stop wearing cologne at work! If you shower, you’re good – do the universe a favor and just pop the Altoids.

“Do not ship liquids, blood or diagnostics in this packaging.” WHO IS SHIPPING LIQUIDS, BLOOD, OR DIAGNOSTICS through FedEx packaging? Honestly.

Heroes this week
How creepy is Zachary Quinto as Sylar?
I can’t stop staring at Milo Ventimiglia’s lip and the weird angle at which it hangs.
And FINALLY the characters on Heroes share scenes together again. Can’t wait to see what happens with Hiro and Peter Petrelli. Nice cliffhanger, peacock. Hopefully there won’t be too much layover time between the writer’s strike-induced gap between eps. Don’t want last year’s fizzling steam to déjà vu.

On personal gastronomics:
Lately a hankering for pie. And today one for cheese popcorn. Yes, the kind that gets all over your fingers. The Smartfood brand is also quite satisfying. Maybe I should strike up a deal with Herr’s, Tastykake, and Smartfood. You know, when I’m loaded. Starving writers like food.

COTW: Extraordinarily attractive people work ordinary jobs.
It’s the daily grind – work, errands, food, sleep. I pick up my cup ‘o joe at the cafe near my office (at least for the time being). No, our eyes do not meet. But he does take my order for a smoky-flavored mocha. I do a double take. He’s broad-shouldered with clear skin and dark hair. The face is easy on the eyes. What are you doing working here? Shouldn’t you be modeling or something? He could be – and this barista gig is his day job. Or maybe he’s decided he doesn’t want to model and isn’t into the industry. But seriously – it’s amazing to see people at menial jobs that seem like they would clearly excel in other areas. Wow.

Going Out and this week's COTW

The long holiday weekend brought some much needed relaxation and overindulgence of pie and such. Went to a recent outing with the chicas this weekend. Ate too much food on Thursday, reluctantly yet somehow made it to the Glendale mall on Friday morning, with a little help from un café, and hit up a salsa club. Oh yeah - went to my local cineplex to start catching up on holiday flicks.
Notes to self: Porto’s tuna melt is delicious. Do not shop on Black Friday. I heart coffee.

COTW
More attraction factors – boosting the attractiveness quotient.

Sweater under leather-jacket paired with ripped-up jeans combo. I could make out with those antique-rinse weathered jeans.
Saw August Rush this weekend. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, how adorable are you?! (Thanks, wardrobe supervisor Pam Aaron.) His character in the film was rockin’ the heathered rollneck sweater under camel leather jacket, with a pair of faded jeans that have seen its fair share of good days and bad. You’re killin’ me, Meyers.

Salsa dancing. Okay – basically any gentleman whom is truly schooled in the steps, is not rhythmically challenged – and – well, that’s pretty much it. Oh yeah – if you have bad breath and are not packin’ the Altoids – stop talking to me so much – please keep the mouth closed and dance.
Some tips and tricks as far as salsa goes: when men lead and know the steps, it’s a five-star event. It may be fun for you to turn the lady those 360 degrees, but not so much for her when experiencing back-to-back turns and a dose of vertigo. Dance with care.

Bite-Sized Post and COTW

It's been awhile since my last post - but honestly, not that much new is going on. The writers are out and about picketing; I'm just trying to survive during a particularly lean market of available entertainment industry jobs.

I just had my first chocolate croissant in three or four years. I think the last time I had them was when I was in D.C. and went to the Au Bon Pain on campus. Those things are scrumptious. Something tells me that the holidays, as usual, are not going to be good to my body mass index. Are they ever good to anybody? Well, maybe to the pockets of the scoundrels in the Bally Total Fitness Membership Office come January.

With the approaching holidays, I must say that I'm looking forward to not shopping in stores and doing my minimalist shopping online. Hey, I'm a struggling assistant. On a recent visit to the Burbank Media Center mall during the first weekend of November, the thirty-plus people waiting in line for the register at a women's clothing retailer was enough to turn me off. That, the cranky salespeople (aren't the customers supposed to be the irritated ones?) and screaming kids that parents let run amok are enough for me. I don't need more stress in my life. I wonder what the average stress levels are for the Los Angeles area resident.

Latest COTW

Comedians. Something about being intelligent, quick-witted, and attractive. Or maybe it's the sense of humor that increases someone's appeal.

COTW and Working Woes

There's the good and the bad. I always like hearing bad news first, so..

Working Woes
Getting my 9-to-5 off my chest.

Her: Slide it into this envelope here, like this. That’s what you’re gonna do for this stack right here.
Me (internally): I’m sorry, I don’t speak moron. I got a ridiculously high score on my SATs, so I’m probably incredibly smarter than you’ve ever been, and I’m a two-time regional spelling bee champ. Why are you speaking so loudly? Shut the hell up. I’m standing right next to you – use your 12 inch voice. I guess you were ATD in school, huh.
Me (verbally): Okay, I’ll take care of it.

At least it’s all just temporary. I can’t be the only genius brain with a passion for writing whom is stuck doing unnoticed, unfulfilling work all day. I mean, there must be others out there, right?

I wonder how many minutes or hours of work the average person accomplishes on a given day. Seriously. I am amazed that what I’m doing can substantially constitute a person’s full-time, salaried position. It’s just not busy enough. I have caught up on my trades and emails, and trying not to be sitting here reading a book since it seems a little faux pas. The value of mental stimulation – is definitely underrated. Hard to be upbeat and creative when you’re stuck in a white cubicle.

Crush-Of-The-Week
For this week’s edition of COTW, I decided to forego the fully developed crush profile. There are numerous individual qualities that boost a gentleman’s attractiveness factor (beyond the fundamentals of having a sense of humor, being passionate, articulate, intelligent, etc.). Here are a few that came up this week:

British accents.

Ugly Christmas sweaters. (Yeah, I know. But still.)

Argyle. Who doesn't love a person in touch with their inner preppy?

Tattoos. Depend on type and size, of course. Something about an individual willing to commit a permanent marking on their own body for a lifetime. (Outside of the world of laser surgery, of course.)

This Week's Crush and Spelling Round

Crush-Of-The-Week (COTW)
If you're attractive and talented, congratulations, you have met the stipulations that put you in the running for the candy monster's crush. I crush on somebody new all the time - I've decided to whittle it down by week.
This week's profile: Indie rockers that are easy on the eyes and more down-to-earth than you'd expect. Damn, [insert musician's name here]. Enough sweet-talking and thoughtfulness and I'll want to make out with you. (Wink.)

Spelling Round

friendly. Yes, another i before e.

whether or not you like it, the weather is unseasonably warm lately.

You are waiting in line for coffee. No, not online, on the world wide web, but in a line. You know, a queue; there's an old school surfer in front of you and a woman with her screaming kids standing behind you.

And to add to your Hollywood vernacular according to webster.com:

schmooze: verb. To converse informally: chat; also: to chat in a friendly and persuasive manner especially so as to gain favor, business, or connections

swag: noun. Goods acquired by unlawful means: loot

ETA: estimated time of arrival.

And to save in the mental thesaurus:
Take out the random, try:

á tort et á travers: wrong and crosswise, at random, without rhyme or reason.

AGBGTATRM, Part 2: Communicating the Right Message

Things Women Want to Tell You But Shouldn’t Have To.

A Gentleman's Basic Guide To All The Right Moves, Part 2

Mothers and Cell Phones: How Often Do You Call Your Mother?

So. We all have mothers. Some of us are lucky to still have them around.

I am originally from the East Coast, which makes me one of the many Los Angeles transplants in town. With the majority of my family residing back East, there is a considerable distance felt between us. So, my adorable parents, specifically my mother, uses her cell phone to keep in touch with me. She calls me. We exchange text messages - which is quite a feat for her to master, if you know her.

On the occasion that I don't receive her call, she leaves voicemail messages to the effect of, "Okay, call me. Now. Right now." The tone of these messages, mainly irritation/nagging, doesn't motivate me to call her back. Thus, my decreased rate of returning phone calls. Not that there's anything urgent or any particular purpose for her call anyways. Most of the time it's just to make sure I'm alive and to hear me talk - which is awesome, I know, but I can't be all that spectacular 24/7. No news from her to report, and since I don't call unless there's news on my end - in conclusion, no real functionality to accomplish.

If I don't talk to her within a couple days she'll think something awful has happened and then start calling furiously. Love her to death, but it gets to the point where I just don't want to pick up my phone. Does anyone have this problem?

I pose these questions:
1. How often does your mother call you?
2. Should I chalk it up to, "I'm not a mother, so I just don't understand" ?
3. What do you suggest as far as how to respond to the excessive calling?

the candy monster works out

Attention All Overdressed Gym Rats: If you're working up a sweat, and feeling a little faint on that treadmill, maybe you should take off one of the many long-sleeved layers you have on. It would be much more comfortable for you, in addition to taking you out of the running (yes pun intended) for hyperthermia. Dude, you're just an eyesore.

Here's the lowdown: wearing four sweatshirts doesn't make you sweat more. You don't burn more calories. Your body overheats since you're not wearing breathable clothing, so it feeling like you're sweating more is only because the perspiration can't dry as quickly under those layers. Thus discomfort and you looking like an idiot. I guess you were ATD in sixth grade health class. Yep, ATD. That's what I'm calling it.

ATD: Absent That Day. This is how I've come to terms with life's asinine moments. How I justify that no, there can't be that many morons in this world that all want to cross paths with me. You must have been ATD in school. Stay in school, kids. Why? So you won't grow up to be a giant moron.

What. You want more? Not now. Heroes is on. I'm out of buttery popcorn-flavored Jelly Belly beans.

[Heroes SPOILER ALERT if you didn't see tonight's episode]

Ok back. Gahh! Sylar's alive?! Okay, so Zachary Quinto doesn't need to look for a new gig anytime soon. All these new characters. The Mexican siblings trying to cross the border (haven't we seen enough of this?). Monica, the cousin of tech-y wiz kid Micah. Claire's love interest and gravity-defying schoolmate, West. Takezo Kensei, the legendary Japanese (yet British) hero that Hiro struggles to help fulfill history.

Granted, with such an ensemble cast, you're bound to skip out on a couple characters here and there in each episode. I mean, developing storylines at the kickoff of a brand spankin' new season is understandable. But nixing out Hiro, Niki, and Peter?

Well, at least there's something else to look forward to. I still have mounting anticipation of Veronica Mars herself, Miss Kristen Bell. Oh, the CW. What were you thinking?!

A Gentleman’s Basic Guide To All The Right Moves.

Things Women Want to Tell You But Shouldn’t Have To.
In case you didn't already know.

http://www.thisisby.us/index.php/content/a_gentleman__s_basic_guide_to_the_right_moves

WTFs?!

WTFs?! are some lamentations on life, or on things you should really know by now. I'm indignant about these; you should be, too.

So just to get these off my chest:

the possessive your: should probably precede a noun. (thereby showing possession...)
and the you're: as in the contraction of you are.

just a few notes on spelling

• tomorrow. The last person you spoke to today probably spelled it wrong.
• accommodate.
• Wednesday. Yes, there are two d's in there.
  
• hors d'oeuvre. If you really don't know it, then don't use it.
  
• receive. This one kills me every time I see it butchered. Absolutely kills.

Spell checking tools are your friend.

Sigh. Shaking of head. God help us all. I'm going to have a piece of dark chocolate while those who need to, mull over the aforementioned.

today is sunday

October 7, 2007: for at least seven more minutes.

Sunday nights can be pretty depressing with the stress of the week about to begin. I am listening to the High School Musical soundtrack songs. I must say, I am now on the High School Musical train. Zac Efron has a weird face - I can't quite pinpoint it. And so do many other actors and celebrities. More on this later. Lance Bass always had weird eyes - maybe it's a cross-eyed look.

Apparently I'm not the only one under the weather. At least I'm on the path of recuperation. Something must be going around. Isn't that how it always goes?

Dane Cook is awesome. There must be another word equivalent to awesome that is not quite as overused. So begins my search.

OACUN (On a completely unrelated note): Flamin' Hot Cheetos are delicious. Now with zero grams of trans fat.