(In low monotone) DELETE. DELETE. DELETE. Since when did we get so many emails? Sometimes it's best to do a clean sweep. Junk mail. Junk e-mails. All the cool e-newsletters that you have to subscribe to for staying in the loop.
Annoying guy that keeps getting in your face to flirt with you - I will look deep into your eyes - and then DELETE.
SUV parking in a 'compact' parking spot - DELETE.
Slow walkers - DELETE.
Neighbor with smelly dog that leaves an odoriferous mark in the elevator long after departing - DEAR GOD, DELETE!
I'm sighing for what must be the millionth time today. This week.
Those February doldrums and the droll hours they bring. I keep wanting to close my eyes.
I just got home. I don't feel like cooking. Can I leave on that note? Is that enough? I do not feel like cooking.
The Situation
Starbucks employee: Hi, what can I get for ya?
Me: (pause) Hi. Can I get - a grande -
Starbucks employee: mm-hmm. (He pulls out a clear plastic grande cup.)
Me: Hot.
Starbucks employee: ok. (He returns the plastic cup and pulls out a paper cup.)
Me: Nonfat, extra-hot, no-foam, vanilla latte ?
Starbucks employee: (trying to feign like he ISN'T taken aback). O - Kay.
Me: I know. It's complicated.
Starbucks employee: What's your name?
(I tell him.)
Starbucks employee: Ok. I'm going to remember that name.
Me: Oh no. (Thinking: I hope he doesn't spit in my coffee.)
Starbucks employee: So, you live around here?
What? He could be my type. If he just cut his hair and you gave him the right clothes.
