Bitch, please.

"Hey, you know, when you talk to the bagel guy, you should ask them to switch to a different kind of cream cheese, and..."

Not the best thing for someone to open with when they walk to your cubicle on a grey Monday morning. Best to cut 'em off.

"I don't talk to the bagel guy."
"Oh, you don't?"
"No, they just deliver."
"Oh, well, if you can-"
"If you want to change the cream cheese flavors, then feel free to go ahead and call them."
"Oh ok. Well why don't you just give me the number -"
"I'll email you."
"Well you can write it down for me on a post-it and I'll call them."

So I stop whatever the fuck I'm doing and write down the phone number to the bagel place because you're complaining about the cream cheese flavors of the bagels you're getting for free ?!

Bitch, please.