What I found in my mother's kitchen.

Or, more like what I didn't find.

After a hearty 12 hours of hibernation, I ventured downstairs to the kitchen - breakfast at noon. I was starved.

Let's see here- a dozen eggs, yes!
Ketchup? Not here.
Bread ? None.
Butter? No. Wait - yes there is some. In a 32 ounce block. When did they switch from Shedd's spread to real butter ? Things sure have changed in this family.
Cheese? Yes. I wonder how old this thing is.
"Sell by - a long ass time ago." I'll pass, thank you.
Bread in the freezer maybe? No. Some frozen waffles though - hmm this may be a back-up.
Maple syrup? Nope. Hmm.
Jelly? Yes! A scanty little portion of sugar free strawberry preserves.
Coffee? Ehh. The instant little coffee mix packs for individual servings. Meaning, not the good kind.
Juice? Negative. How can a family of three survive on such an empty fridge ?

And breakfast - is done. Just - nobody come over unexpectedly - because there is no ketchup, no syrup, and no coffee. But we can make you some scrambled eggs with no ketchup.

Those are not happy eggs.